The average U.S. retail price for a dozen large eggs was $1.51 in the first quarter, up 33 cents, or 28%, from the fourth quarter and 43 cents higher than a year ago … Behind the higher prices: Feed. Rising corn and soybean prices have led to increased costs for feed. The increase is in large part because of rising corn demand, and thus prices, to produce ethanol. Ethanol is most commonly made from corn and is combined with gasoline to produce fuel for cars and other vehicles. Ethanol production rose 30% from January 2006 to January 2007, the most recent data, according to the Energy Department.
Responding to the increase in egg prices, which has been driven by the increase in corn prices, which has been driven by demand for corn-based ethanol, which has been driven by a growing multivariate aversion to the consumption of oil, the newly formed advocacy group Parents Against a New International Climate today announced that no American child shall henceforth be allowed to dye or hunt for more than one Easter egg per year.
A spokesperson for the group, Lirpa Sloof, also urged Americans to abandon the use of real Christmas trees. “The ecological cost of growing, cutting, transporting, and disposing of a single tree,” she said, “is nearly enough to cover a full 24-hour segment of Al Gore’s utility bill.”
The group has also called for abandoning the use of mistletoe at Christmas (“pure vegetative slaughter,” according to Sloof), matzo for Passover (“the widespread short-term disuse of yeast causes a disastrous interruption to normal food production”), and the outright elimination of holidays including Thanksgiving, Independence Day, and Memorial Day.
“Don’t even get me started on Halloween,” Sloof added. “Do you have any idea how much the production of candy corn alone damages the environment?”