The Dung Beetle

As I’ve blogged about in the past, my father has earned great notoriety for his study of all things fecal.

So why didn’t he think of this?


Drill-Baby-Drill Drill Team

Now to invent a turbo bicycle that runs on farts....

David Chowes, New York City

Hey, great idea! It would probably speed up the flow of traffic.

Maestro...

Why not put in toilets for seats? That way, if you ran out of fuel...

Jokester

In honor of your father, herewith the two best fart jokes I've every heard:

1) A young man goes to pick up his date. Since the young lady is (of course) not quite ready, he is invited into the den with the father. He is pointed to a chair under which the father's bulldog, Butch, is lying.

As they begin to talk, the young man feels forces within him that he can barely control. Then he has the idea to fart in the hopes that the man will think it is the dog lying under the chair.

So he does.

"Butch!" the father snaps.

Relieved, the young man releases a bit more.

"Butch!" the father snaps again.

Realizing this is his chance to be rid of it all, the young man finishes most marvelously.

"Butch!" the father snaps again, "Get out from under that chair before he craps all over you!"

2) Two men, strangers, are riding a train. At some point, one man gets a whiff of the other.

"Did you fart, sir?"

"No, I didn't."

Unsure of what or where the smell is coming from the other man tries to read a magazine. But unable to take it, he says again, "Are you sure you didn't break wind?"

"I'm certain, sir."

Several more polite exchanges of this nature take place, but finally, absolutely sure that it's the other guy, the man explodes, "Man, it smells like you crapped in your pants!"

"NOW, YOU'RE TALKIN'!"

Read more...

Drill-Baby-Drill Drill Team

"Why not put in toilets for seats? That way, if you ran out of fuel..."

--How about Bucket Seats MADE from Real BUCKETS?

Michael

I actually know your father personally, as he has discussed my gas with me quite often being my doctor. Funny to hear about this side of things.