A Great Excuse Not to Hand Out Halloween Candy

A sign left outside a darkened house in my neighborhood Halloween night:

Sorry we are not home tonight.? We got called away to an emergency meeting of the Delaware Witches Association.? One of the members keeps saying “I am not a witch,” and we are having a vote to decide whether she should be thrown out of the association.? See you next year.


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  1. Jeff says:


    And just to nip this comment thread in the bud: Yes, this is not really on topic. Yes, it’s political. Yes, it was (arguably) an unnecessary post. yes, you have every right to stop reading Freakonomics because of it. Let’s lighten up.

    Did I cover everything?

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  2. kevin says:

    Or, a great way to have your house egged by the opposition?

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  3. PaulD says:

    You go, Jeff!

    As for me and my wife, our son — who usually hands out the candy — was off at a party, so we just turned out the lights in the back of the house. But the rest of the street was quite festive. Last year a guy on the street who works on Hollywood sets recreated the schoolyard from The Birds on his front lawn. That was the best ever. Complete with crows perched on the jungle gym.

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  4. Bobby G says:

    She turned me into a newt! … I got better.

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  5. Jeffrey says:

    I’m hoping O’Donnell wins. Yet, I found this sign hilarious. Wish I’d thought of it first.

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  6. Emily says:

    It is smart because you are saving money and leaving a witty halloween joke but then there is the possibility of getting egged which no one wants and it is just better to pass out candy.

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  7. Caveman says:

    I’ve never passed out candy on Halloween, and I’ve never been egged but usually were never home and no cars are there because we are at family friends.

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  8. Ivette torres says:

    Not a great excuse at all more like lame, try telling this joke to young kids and I’m sure they will not even have a clear understanding of it much less care, It will not be funny to them at all; Might as well just put a sign on your door being honest saying “sorry kids to cheap to pass out candy this year, maybe next year :)” I think everyone would appreciate the honesty. Good luck getting your house egged=)

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