Pop Culture Introspection, Part I: Why Do the Couples From The Bachelorette Do So Much Better Than Those From The Bachelor?

 Of the sixteen The Bachelor shows, only four relationships from the show lasted at least a year.  Only two couples are still together.  In contrast, five of the seven The Bachelorette seasons led to relationships that lasted at least a year. (Although only two of the couples are still together.)

Why the difference? Just chance, or does it tell us something about men, women, and relationships?

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  1. Eric M. Jones. says:

    It is not fair to compare in this case. Contestants are screened. Maybe you should say, “Why is the Bachelorette screener so much better than the Bachelor screener?”

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  2. Daniel says:

    I think this has a lot more to do with decisions and commitment to those decisions than it does with any specific differences among how men and women pick prospective partners. I believe that we have to take into account the amount of public scrutiny and judgement that the contestants get during and after the show. It is also very important to know if the same criteria is used for choosing the Bachelorette and Bachelor’s namesake as well as the respective contestants.

    I would conjecture that this public judgement might make the bachelorettes remain more committed to the relationship as their perceived level of judgement may seem to be higher than their male counterparts. That might also be why there is convergence (though still difference) when moving past the 1 year mark. I also suppose that the process may be weighted so that they are much more interested in finding a bachelorette that is willing to and looking to settle down wherein they are looking for a bachelor that is very attractive and successful and a seemingly amazing catch for all of the big-chested blondes to fight over, regardless of his personal views toward relationships and commitment.

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  3. JBP says:

    While this is too small of a sample to be very confident, I would hazard a guess that it somehow comes from the evolutionary fact that the female of any species is the chooser. This is why the male of a species tends to be bigger or prettier than the female—the male tends to be what the female find attractive. If I remember the number correctly, women end the relationship over 70 percent of the time. The female is nature’s chooser.

    This has to be related to the cultural fact that men chase women. Once the show is over, the relationship will revert to the norm and the women will become the chooser again. If the woman makes the choice in the beginning, then she will be more likely to make the same choice in the future.

    Of course, this is a statistical truth. Personal variation is typically larger than statistical attributes of a population. Knowing this doesn’t mean you know what a specific man or woman would do in a similar situation.

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  4. AaronS says:

    Absolutely. If I may be so brazen, men (of which I am one) are largely looking for the best arm candy or the best-in-bed, etc. In other words, I think that most men–or at least the ones that are used to trading on their looks–are looking at matters very superficially.

    Women, on the other hand, as a matter of nature, tend to look for a more complex mix of characteristics in their mate. This likely has something to do with wanting a good provider/father.

    Of course, this comes across as a very stereotypical look at matters, but I think it’s true. I remember some dating show where a guy would go out with three or four girls, eventually excluding all but one. In virtually every case, it was the woman who seemed most likely to have sex, demonstrated either through her very forward/provocative behavior…or because the other girls did not seem nearly so willing to put out.

    It was shameful…yet oddly compelling. A man is looking for a woman to give him the milk without having to buy the cow (so to speak). I imagine that there are few men who wouldn’t prefer a situation where they get all the pleasures of a relationship with none of the responsibilities. It’s shameful. But as long as we’ll watch, they’ll keep right on doing it.

    Thank goodness that there are still a few good men who act honorably. Unfortunately, they don’t appear to be on “The Bachelor.”

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  5. Baiba says:

    In front of the camera everyone behaves in different way than when cameras are absent. So i think it’s false expectations what destroys these relationships.

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  6. MRB says:

    The amount to which the contestants fall in love with the bachelor/ette with whom they spend 1-3 television moderated dates per week in exotic locales always amazes me.

    I think that, for the bachelorette contestants (the men), the winner receives a beautiful, young, and more-or-less financially self-sufficient (if not rich) woman. That’s 85% to 90% of what men are looking for.

    For the women, they receive a beautiful, young, and more-or-less financially self-sufficient (if not rich) man. That’s 50% to 70% of what women are looking for.

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  7. I.G says:

    Men are more competitive on average, and most of them enjoy the challenge of having to chase a woman.
    It’s no wonder that a man with his pick of the litter would enter a relationship handed to him without seeing any value behind it, after all, he didn’t have to work for it at all.

    Relationships, in my experience, just work better when the male chases the female, and not the other way around.

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  8. Sean Heidger says:

    Its hard to actually make any assumptions about this because it is a TV show and viewers do not really see what goes on behind the scenes. At the same time, the women who are looking for love may actually be looking for their life partner and uses full advantage of the show. On the other hand, the men may see it as there chance to show off on TV and meet as many women as possible. So when the guy finally chooses the girl, after filming, there may not actually be any feelings there since he was blinded by the cameras and women around him. This response doesn’t really pose any new question, just goes along with the typical stereotype when it comes to men and women with love and relationships…could it be true?

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