American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse

This piece on baby names by Drew Magary made me laugh out loud.  I sent it to my wife, and she laughed so hard she cried.

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  1. MW says:

    Well, I for one didn’t read the article – because it requires allowing multiple sites to run javascript just to be able to read text. There is no good reason for this, and I’ve had my computer infected before by malicious javascript, so I’m a bit discriminating.

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  2. Lori says:

    True story via a L & D nurse: a woman who had just given birth wanted to name her daughter “Vagina”. Apparently, during delivery, that word was mentioned and she thought it sounded beautiful. (She never actually heard that word before.)
    After given the definition of what a vagina was, she changed her mind. To “Ragina”.

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  3. ReekRend says:

    I’m wholly on board with the whole “outright stupid name”-watching game, but I completely disagree with most of this. I’ve been thinking for years that the perception of required homogenization of names is weak at best and more likely intellectually and morally shallow. It simply doesn’t fit with the evolution of human civilization, language, and intellect. I’m sad that people are so close-minded and afraid of the any deviation.

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  4. Jayvid says:

    Last June my girlfriend/mother of my child saw me writing feverishly at my desk and asked me what am I doing.

    “I’m making a list of all those F’d up names names people keep naming their kids!”
    …It’s almost an obsession.

    I’d love to share this story with my friends, but I don’t think we’d be friends too much longer (there are too many Baisleys Huxleys and Baxters amongst their children)

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  5. RazziMeem says:

    Loose the coarse language. It’s TOTALLY unnecessary and unprofessional.

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  6. jennifer says:

    I, too, work in the medica profession and keep a list of the most ridiculous names. This week’s winner is Scholastique. Previous winners include Shatanyaniquacuca (yes sounds like it’s spelled), Captain Lovingly Queen, Passion Jackson (would have assumed it was a stripper name, except the girl was 4 yrs old), Bewilder, Cinderella, Ti’a, and numerous others with oddly placed apostophes. Seems like the boys names are slightly less ridiculous, but there is definitely a trend here in the south to name one’s son Remington, Winchester, and other brand names of weaponry. So sorry I don’t have my weird names list handy at the moment, because there were so many more that would have had you all rolling on the floor.

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    • GLORIA says:

      I can identify with your comments, for my coworkers it became a game to see the names we could find everyday and we were not disappointed. Blood(yours or mine),Cotton candy, Kitty Little, Merry Christmas(Aunt )and Carol Christmas(niece) Armo(and Hammer), Mazola,Arzola(butter ?) , Nyquilla ,Kip(and Bits), Taseline(Vaseline, Maybe) Rubeye(new steak),Zolona(new Bologna) Saturdia(new day in the week), Sundarie,Tikilla(to kill her or)Veleka(liquor) . The humor behind the name became the fun side for me . Q, U, were the shortest of my finds and X non-existent.

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  7. Sandy says:

    Worked in childcare for many years and have heard some strange ones…….some that come to mind….Lemonjello, Pajama, and Vagina, people, please, really?

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  8. EB says:

    One of my friends teaches elementary school, and has a heckuva (new idea?) time trying pronounce kid’s names at the beginning of each year. HOWEVER, there is one that really had her stumped. It was the lovely moniker L-sha.
    I’m serious, this is also on the child’s birth certificate…Give up??— LaDASHa

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