American Baby Names Are Somehow Getting Even Worse

This piece on baby names by Drew Magary made me laugh out loud.  I sent it to my wife, and she laughed so hard she cried.

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  1. Sarah says:

    I have tears. That is hilarious!!!!!!

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  2. gloria bell-martinez says:

    I worked at a hospital where one day after viewing often strange names , I began collecting them and then to further add to the names I began adding comments on what it sounded like. My list goes as far back as Amos and Andy(Kingfish etc. and Laurel and Hardy on Whose on first , I don’t know on third.and Whats on Second. During the war, women whose fathers blessed them with Male names during the drafts were called up for service. Ethnic names of 10 or more letters in the first name, Old fashion names,Ivory Lard, Pig Meat, Bamboo, Berkenya, Kenyatta. My humor list was CHATTIE,(before or After) ARPHINE(and I know it) ESCORING(OR you are not playing)the name that started my research was Chinchanchewula. IDRAINA(while you filla) Nothing has escaped being used as a name Groceries, Pharmaceuticals, flowers, cars , alcohols, flowers, states, countries . Famous people who changed their unruly names, last names, Bibilical names. I have them all , many with funny notations for how it sounds. My last name Cluster had no contingents in the telephone directory , it actually years ago was not in there and if you find it there are only about three or five. If you want to hear some really interesting names I have over a thousand or more that will blow your imagination.

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  3. gloria bell-martinez says:

    I have just submitted a few names and comments about them. Moving on Sir Claude, Be Note, Admiral, gaylord, Suddely(actually not soon enough) Thedford , Flash(super hero), Wellenton(female) Richard Mae,Chesterfield(cigarette) Dorami(should I say more)Theodocia,Imoleleanor(I was fat)Vero(before Or after Hero?) Vonceal(you tell me)Precious Darling(Oh yes) I have names from A to Z, men and women How about Pallas Recha(no comment)?

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  4. anon says:

    Phthisis. I repeat, Phthisis, which has to do with tuberculosis. I read in a baby name book that there was one family that gave their poor doomed kid this name, loooong ago. As TB was so common, I guess they decided, kid’s not gonna live, why bother with a proper name. Sounds so very ugly, doesn’t it?

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  5. dhano says:

    what about Abdul Mischief?

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  6. KH says:

    My middle name has an apostrophe. I have always understood that is because the name comes from an African language– the ‘ marks a glottal stop.

    Which may have helped pronunciation in Africa but to me mostly just means I have trouble entering my full name into computers– despite the apparent boom in these kinds of names, most forms can’t handle an apostrophe.

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  7. rachel says:

    The underlying – and often outright – racism in these discussions is appalling.

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