"Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police," and Other Horrible Headlines

From a friend, who got them from a friend, who got them from someone else, here’s a collection of newspaper headlines that don’t quite accomplish what the writer set out to accomplish. Anyone who has ever written or published anything can surely sympathize — and laugh. (P.S.: Are any of them real?)




And people think The Onion is the fake news.

Demian Farnworth

Unbelievable. And funny.


"Diana alive hours before death" is taken from a satirical UK newspaper called Private Eye.

"exclusive to all newspapers" is also a joke, but then you would have to understand english to get it, I suppose.


"Understand English" you say?

Sounds like someone is not too pleased that the UK has taken a back seat to Amurrica.

Lore Sjöberg

Heh, I created one of these images as a joke. I'm tickled that my Photoshop skills were enough to get it sent around as a real headline.


Wow, I used to read Brunching Shuttlecocks all the time.


The British satirical magazine, Private Eye, has published at least one book of these.

My favourite is "Man Found Dead in Graveyard"


Several of these are spoofs. But thanks for playing.

Fiona in London

Love your books, but: The first headline is a fake, from the British satirical magazine Private Eye (www.private-eye.co.uk).


In other news, I was still awake hours before going to sleep, and I was still asleep hours before waking up.



Did you guys just get the internet today?

Andy Bechtel

The "morgue" headline from The News & Observer isn't real. Here's more: http://wp.me/plJ6z-1bV


Don't you mean "All from Jay Leno because you can tell from the highlighters that he used them on Headlines"?

Paul S Vigil

HILARIOUS!! I was roaring with laughter!

Eric M. Jones.


1) These are mostly spoofs. Verifying them is tough these days.
2) Having worked in the news-biz (UPI), I can tell you that the news editors are GREAT at language and they know damned well if they are putting a little humor into print...which they often do. Your humor is based on the notion that they goofed. I'll put my money elsewhere.

Hey...When the ES neon went dark on the ESSEX house--it was paid for.


Did you see the "Santorum Blasts Obama in Cumming Rally" headline during the primaries last year?


"Hospitals resort to hiring doctors" actually is a real headline. This may seem strange to the lay public but almost all doctors in the hospital are NOT employees of that hospital. They are self employed and have privileges to practice at that hospital. Hospitals will direct employ doctors particularly when there is a shortage of a speciality that's needed.


On the other side, one local hospital has managed to lose some of its doctors: http://www.rgj.com/article/20121204/NEWS/312050044/Renown-loses-10-cardiologists-under-FTC-antitrust-agreement


good laugh