“Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police,” and Other Horrible Headlines

From a friend, who got them from a friend, who got them from someone else, here’s a collection of newspaper headlines that don’t quite accomplish what the writer set out to accomplish. Anyone who has ever written or published anything can surely sympathize — and laugh. (P.S.: Are any of them real?)




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  1. Caleb B says:

    At the university of Arkansas, the head coach Houston Nutt decided to play freshman QB Casey Dick instead of junior Robert Johnson in the game against South Carolina. The school paper’s headline was:

    “Nutt going with Dick over Johnson against ‘cocks”

    Granted, it was a school paper and very much intentional, but funny nonetheless.

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  2. R says:

    Where is “Roasted Nuts”? The headline that ran after the Trenton Psychiatric fire is the worst headline, period.

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  3. Aiden Gosiak says:

    Enjoyed reading headlines, hope to see more hilarious headlines in the future

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  4. Dolores says:

    Can’t you people just enjoy this for the light-hearted article it is meant to be? What does it matter if the headlines are real? I got a good chuckle. Lighten up people!

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    • Ted says:

      Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

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      • eduo says:

        What a fulfilling goal in life that must be: Getting joy from correcting people over the internet.

        Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 8 Thumb down 1
  5. Phil M says:

    Years ago, a New York Post front page headline was “Headless Torso found in Topless Bar”

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  6. Michelle Ma says:

    Men are turned off by size of Obama’s Package? That’s possibly not a typing error. The subconscious lurks. In “the cultural history of the penis” the author discusses that in the bathhouses frequented by men the guy with the largest package had a hard time and dealt with poisonous envy. obviously ‘men turned on by obama’s package’ would make more sense and be funnier but anyway, good no both ends

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  7. Mike says:

    I can vouch for the ” homicide victims rarely talk to police”. That is the newspaper that gets delivered to my house every morning.

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